Using Bees To Effect Vengeance

I get to be as self-indulgent as I want without wasting anyone's time. Guilt-free solipsism -- excellent!

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Friday, August 23, 2002
I don't know much about the band Nickelback -- from what I've heard, they're another one of those bands whose major musical influence is a piece of dried mucus that Eddie Vedder absent-mindedly hocked up in September 1992. Still, there's always time in one's jampacked day for a refreshing rant about how crap most music is. The NME has its problems, but it does do unadulterated vitriol quite well. Rather than make you click through, I'm going to strike a blow for brazen piracy and reproduce the review here, without permission. Have a look at if you're feeling guilty.

Anyway, I present Mark Beaumont's review of the new Nickelback single, "Too Bad":

"GRUNT! HEAVE! CHURN! Christ, feel the weight of this riffage! Try carrying this boulder of pain on your back a Mississippi mile! Put your shoulder to The Rock and strain-a-longa Nickelback, a band who write songs in the same way that betrayed Messiahs carry crucifixes up steep hills. ‘Too Bad’, like all their bricklaying slogrock shite, sounds like an episode of The World’s Strongest Man set to ‘music’: much teeth-gritted puffing, much painful wrenching and a lot of red faces all round. Except Nickelback don’t get the satisfaction of dragging a DC-10 seven inches with their teeth, they just drag youth culture deeper into the swamp of whining rock tedium like bricks in its pockets. Take a short pier and walk it. Fuckers."

Don't you feel better, now?


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