Using Bees To Effect Vengeance

I get to be as self-indulgent as I want without wasting anyone's time. Guilt-free solipsism -- excellent!

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Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I just left my strawberry Pop Tarts in the toaster too long and burnt them. Burnt Pop Tarts do not smell good. Yes, I'm unemployed, folks.

Actually they weren't Pop Tarts -- they were HEB Hill Country Fare Toaster Pastries. And they taste exactly like Pop Tarts. That's the thing about supermarket generics...I love them dearly but the trick is figuring out which generics are identical to their overpriced famous brand counterparts and which are markedly inferior. For instance: HEB Caffeine Free Diet Original Cola is a brilliant substitute for Caffeine Free Diet Coke and costs about half as much. You'll be glad to know that Marshmallow Treasures are indistinguishable from Lucky Charms; ditto HEB's Frosted Mini Wheats doppelganger.

The same can *not* be said for HEB's stab at Cocoa Puffs -- not even close, fellas. And I can't get punkrockgirl to even try the fetching Dr. B, even though the resulting savings in our Dr. Pepper budget would probably allow us to buy a second car. Maybe I ought to start a website that ranks the generics, so that all those people who are itching to go generic can be emboldened by impartial reviews. Hmmm. In the meantime, I'm out there on the front lines so that you don't have to be.


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